So today’s my dear husband’s 40th birthday. If you really know me than you know this is a HUGE thing for us. You see we started “dating” 20 years ago today. Yes, you read that right. 20 years ago. But that’s not all. I’ve known him since I was just 4 years old. Are you shocked yet? hehehehe

I almost wrote about our “love story” here but I’ll do it now. Do you want to know how it all started? Let me tell you The Story of Us:

It started on the 4 train, near Yankee Stadium on a beautiful spring day in the Bronx. My mom left the dermatologist office because she had to go through a chemical peel because of bad acne. I was “acting up” (so she says) and she was getting frustrated so she screamed at me.  A lady sitting right across from us said “Awwww, she’s so cute, you shouldn’t scream at her.” My mom said that I was getting on her nerves and she couldn’t take it anymore  and she was in a lot of pain so she didn’t want to deal with my nonsense. The lady told her don’t worry, things will turn out ok. And before she left for her stop, she said to take care.

A few weeks later, we were on the same train around the same area and the lady spots my mom again. She says “Hey, remember me?” My mom says “Yes, I do, how are you?” The lady says “I’m doing good. Your face looks great.”  She said Thanks. Than the lady said “Isn’t this odd – us seeing each other again;  You want to to stop and get a cup of coffee?” My mom said “Sure” and they went to a local coffee shop by Grand Concourse in the Bronx.

They spoke for a few hours in the coffee shop while I ate fries and played with my doll. Before we left, she exchanged numbers with my mom and started a friendship.

They became really good friends. We would go to her house and visit her and her three kids (I had a small crush on her son even though I was a little girl, lol), have dinner, go to the park, they would even go out clubbing while my dad babysat us. They seemed really happy. Then one day she told my mom she was moving to California. My mom was devastated. One of her closest friends would be across the country. Even though she was hundreds of miles away, they always kept in touch.

Years later, my mom’s friend moved back to New York but only for a short while. After that, they moved to Puerto Rico. Several years later, she told my mom she wanted to see her because she was visiting her daughter in the Bronx and she would only be in New York for 2 days so we headed out to see her. When we got there, she was amazed at how much my sister and I have grown. She even stated that I was looking like a lady at only 13 years old. I admit, I was a bit over grown for my age.

A few hours later, her son comes in thru the door and I have to say I was a bit nervous because like I said before, I had a crush on him.  He popped his head into the living room and said hi to everyone. I was shocked. I could not believe that was the kid I had a crush on. I thought to myself, my, my he has grown into a really good looking guy – he was HOT (LOL).

Anyway, her son came in and started talking to everyone. We started talking and he tried to teach me how to play some board game. Before we left, my mom gave him our number. It was like she was trying to hook us up back then!  He’d call my house to talk and he would invite me to the movies but only as friends. I was too young to date.  We got to know each other and became very good friends but that was it.

After several months of hanging out, he went into the Army for a while and when he came back he moved back with his sister. The day before his birthday in 1990, he called me out of the blue and asked me if I was doing anything the following day. I said no and he said cool, then I’ll go pick you up and we can go to Playland to celebrate my birthday.

I was excited. I could not wait. The next day came and we ended up going to his friends house instead of going to Playland.  We stood at the house talking and laughing until it was time for me to go home. I had such a great time. He was very respectful and very kind – the perfect gentleman (still is). He took me home and the rest is history!

We’ve been together ever since and it doesn’t feel like it’s been 20 years.  I’ll be honest, our relationship hasn’t been easy. There were lots of times I wanted to ring his neck and I’m sure he wanted to ring mine too but we got through those hurdles and we are learning from each other every day.  The key for us is definitely communication and compromise – without the two, there’s nothing.

**Ok so, remember that day he came in and said hi in the living room? Well a few years later he admitted that he couldn’t wait to find out who that fine girl was (it was me *blushing*). I was in awe because he made my day when he told me.  I have loved him for so many years and I hope we have many more years together so I can love him some more.

I love you Babe. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I hope you enjoyed my love story.

Do you have a love story you’d like to share? I would LOVE to read about it.

PS. I’ll post some pics of us from “back in the days” next week for Wordless Wednesday

Last Saturday, my sister, my girls and I were on the bus to go to her house after having a fabulous day in the city (post coming soon).  My sister pointed out a billboard that was up above the windows on the bus.

When I first saw it, I thought it was just for married people. I didn’t know it would be a site for so much more.

If you want to improve your relationship with your other half, this site is perfect for the two of you.

If you’re a parent, dating someone, engaged, living together with your partner or having some difficulty in your marriage, this site is for you.

It’s awesome!

TwoOfUs.org contains alot of useful information.  From message boards to blogs, from groups and even a photo album.

There’s something for everyone!

Here’s a little preview about the site:

The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center (NHMRC) is a national resource and clearinghouse for information and research relating to healthy marriages. We strive to be a “first stop shop” for marriage and family trends and statistics, marriage education and programming, scholarly research, and the latest news and events. In particular, the NHMRC also provides training and technical assistance presentations and documents for federally funded Healthy Marriage Initiative grantees.

The NHMRC supports the Administration for Children and Families,  furthering its commitment to promote and support healthy marriages and child well-being by providing research and program information and generating new knowledge about promising and effective strategies.

Our audience includes individuals, couples, families, educators, policymakers, researchers, and organizational leaders with an interest in marriage. The NHMRC provides access to print and electronic publications, timely information on healthy marriage issues, and targeted resources that support healthy relationships and marriages.

I think all of us can learn something new from this site. I’ve read some things and I want to start making small changes for the better in my marriage.  There’s even a few articles I want my husband to read that I already emailed to him.

If you want to start improving your relationship, go to TwoOfUs.org.

Click HERE to sign up for their newsletter.

I was sent an email containing the riddle below.  It’s so true and funny at the same time.

Enjoy!

WEDDING FAIRY

A married couple in their early 60 ‘ s were celebrating their 40th Wedding Anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant….

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.” The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof!
- two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than I.” The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!….the husband became 93 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are Female…..

Remember that song from Married…with Children with Christina Applegate, Ed O’Neil & Katey Sagal? I used to love watching that show. It was pretty funny, even when they were acting stupid & unrealistic.

If you think about it, you really can’t have one without the other. You need love in a marriage because without love there is no marriage.  Don’t you think?

As I was browsing through the web, I found an interesting article on Ivillage; which is one of the best web sites around if you need advice about almost anything.

It’s called The 10 Commandments for a Happy Marriage.  It really makes sense.  Here they are:

1. Thou shalt not live in a bubble. Sometimes love is such a whirlwind of crazy joy that you forget that there are other people, things, and activities in the world besides the two of you. While this is understandable, you have to have outlets, otherwise you’ll drive each other bonkers. Before you met Your Guy, you were always getting together with your gaggle of female friends, hanging out with your family,  putting in extra time at the office, saving the world at the local shelter, or taking a few classes to keep expanding your brain. Don’t stop. Just because you are Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So doesn’t mean you have to be attached at the hip and forget about everything else. Your marriage will be a lot more interesting if you keep on being the fascinating gal you were before he met you. You’ll also have a lot more to talk about over dinner.

2. Thou shalt respect all forms of life, not just married life. Life becomes awfully narrow when your social life revolves exclusively around other couples. One too many brunches spent talking about the real estate market will make you think you’ve died and gone to married hell. One benefit of your wedding was that you had the chance to introduce all of your previously separate social circles to one another. So once you’re wed, keep mixing things up: his friends and your friends, work friends and school friends, neighbors and family, old friends and brand-new acquaintances, singletons and smug marrieds, parents of twins and the child-free.

3. Don’t worry. You’ve still got it. When you were single, you met cute guys everywhere

– at the laundromat, on the subway, at funerals. Once you’re hitched, it’s easy to miss the buzz of universal male admiring attention. But unless you’re a movie star and you absolutely have to look lustily at other men because it’s your job, don’t go batting those eyelashes at anyone but your beloved. Don’t worry, you still have the power. You’ve just got to take it on faith instead of soliciting daily proof.

4. Honor thy mother-in-law and father-in-law. Your in-laws may be incredible bores, gossipy and nosy, or so tacky and embarrassing you want to hide under your turtleneck when you’re out with them. Whatever type you’ve inherited, welcome them with open arms whenever you see them. No matter what you think of them, remember that they are responsible for raising your terrific husband. Even if you really believe that he only turned out normal due to some sort of divine intervention (think Marilyn on The Munsters), give them the credit. So listen to your father-in-law drone on and on about weird weather patterns and act riveted. Eat your mother-in-law’s scary meatloaf (even if you prefer things green) and don’t forget to ask for seconds. Grab another glass of wine if necessary.

5. Thou shalt not even bother trying to keep up with the Joneses. Let’s get things straight. There will always be a couple that is funnier, more attractive, sexier, wealthier, nicer, hipper, healthier, smarter, more successful, and more glamorous than you two. Got it? Even if you are the grooviest couple in the room at one party, you won’t be at the next. If you are constantly comparing yourself to other couples (some of whom you will find out later were just faking it on the road to divorce court), you will miss out on enjoying how happy you are just being yourselves.

6. Fight a clean fight. When you were dating and you got into a spat you may have found that slamming doors, crying and racing back to your apartment were effective tools in winning an argument. He would be so lost without you that he would come running over and say he was sorry. Well, I hate to break it to you, but the tactic is not going to work now that you are married and living together. You’re a lot better off staying calm and staying put to solve a tiff. Fight a clean fight and you are guaranteed at least that he’ll listen to your point of view. Winning is up to you.

7. Be a team. While you are both successful, independent people, don’t forget to cheer each other on, support each other’s crazy dreams, and encourage each other to live your best lives. If he’s up for a promotion, become best friends with his boss at the office Christmas party. If he’s always wanted to ride in the Tour de France, buy two tickets to Paris to see it up close. Lousy day for him? Treat him and his buddies to an after-work gripe session at the corner pub. On the days where your star is shining and his isn’t, make sure to pass him the winning shot. In a mean and crazy world isn’t it nice to know you always have someone on your side?

8. Be fabulous. Be comfortable being unconventional, glamorous, or unique. You don’t have to become June Cleaver now that you’re hitched. Who cares if you guys like to have the Christmas ornaments up in June, don’t have matching silverware, or prefer Pabst Blue Ribbon to a fine vintage? Let your hair down. You’ve found someone who loves you, warts and all, so be the marvelous off-beat woman that he fell in love with and never try to be some cookie-cutter Mrs.

9. Be romantic. Sounds crazy but sometimes it’s easy to forget what got you married in the first place. Don’t stop being romantic, sexy, creative, impulsive, spontaneous, and crazy in love now that it seems easier to rent a video and order takeout. Take tango lessons, get season tickets to the ballet or hockey, go ice-skating hand-in-hand, and let him pick you up for a date. Don’t be afraid to be unabashedly Hallmark-card cheesy and profess your love. Whatever it was that got you thinking he was the man for you, keep doing it. Most important, don’t ever forget the power of an unexpected drop-everything smooch.

10. Be thankful for your guy. There are times when married life will make you think back to your sensational single days with longing and alarm. You were Mary Tyler Moore, for God’s sake, what made you think you wanted to be Edith Bunker? When the love of your life is driving you bananas, it is time to remember how sexy/suave/smart/sensitive/studly your man was the night you first decided that he was IT. Remember how lucky you are to have someone who puts up with all of your nonsense. If through everything, you remember to be grateful for landing the most wonderful man on the planet, your marriage will reflect that, every day.

*Thanks to Ivillage for the great article.