Since I am away taking a mini-road trip this weekend, I asked a couple of friends if they wanted to be a guest poster here at New York Chica.  I am happy to announce that Ofelia will be our second guest writer.  Ofelia is a single Latina mom raising her teenage daughter, dealing with the rules of the suburbs and trying to pass on the best of their wonderful culture. Her blog is called Viviendo en dos idiomas ~ Living in Two Languages.

I had one of “those” days last week. School done for the year, nothing good on TV, utility trucks digging up our street for the sixth week so far. My teen asked if I’d let her go to the library. After some thought (cranky kid at home, happy kid at library) I let her go.

Isn't she a beauty??

I stayed home doing other things, then after a while texted my daughter to meet me in the park. We walked side by side. Several cars beeped at each other and we got annoyed at how loud they were. We turned a corner and a man on a bike rode past us, without saying “excuse me” or “coming through” to alert us. He huffed at us, so rude to not have moved aside. As we stared at him, my teen said “oh, I knocked a guy off his bike today.” “What, why?” I asked.

“Well, he started it.” She explained. While walking in the park near the library, she saw a man on a bicycle headed in her direction. She stepped aside to let him pass. Instead of riding past, he leaned toward her. My daughter put her hand out and pushed him off his bike, into the grass. “Are you gonna say something?” “No.” “Weren’t you about to say something?” “Yes.” “So whatcha gonna say now?” “Nothing.” He kept his eyes on her, grabbed his bike and backed away slowly.

I listened to this, slightly awed that my daughter took such aggressive action. Then I said “Good job”  and we went about our day. Some mothers might be upset at their child for doing something borderline violent. I’m pleased that my daughter defended her personal space. It puts my mind at ease, knowing if we get separated in a crowd she can defend herself.

What would you expect your child to do, in this same situation?

When I want my kids to go to bed at a decent time, they don’t.

Why?

Because they say it’s still light out. My five year old says “mom, it’s not time for bed yet – I can still see the trees.  When it’s night time and I can’t see the trees anymore, then it’s bedtime.”

WTH?

Don’t get me wrong. I love the long summer days when you can hang out and enjoy the night time air but when it comes to putting my kids to bed so I can spend some quality time with my hubby, I can’t.

Maybe I should invest in room darkening shades. What do you think?

Do you think it will fool my clever little five year old? Hmmmmm

You would think that by the time your youngest (that is, if you have kids over 5 years old) is 4-5 years old, the mommy brain would go away.

WRONG!

I have been suffering from Mommy brain ever since I was 21!!!! In case you’re wondering, I was almost 22 when I had my son and it hasn’t gotten any better. In fact, it’s getting worse and I’m getting worried. I’m worried because I don’t want to get Alzheimer’s when I’m an old lady.  I want to be able to remember the good times I had with the people that I care about and love and I also want to remember the happy memories too.

I’ve heard there are many products that help with memory like Ginkgo Biloba and other stuff but I would even forget to take that! LOL

Here are just top 5 things that I’ve forgotten this week:

1. Pay our  car payment & mortgage – ON TIME!

2. Eat breakafast.  I remembered once I started feeling dizzy. This one is odd because I LOVE food but I hate making breakfast so maybe that’s why.

3. Put gas in my car.  I drove around with the gas gauge in RED! Not a good feeling.

4. Went to the supermarket to buy milk because we were all out and I bought everything else EXCEPT the damn milk! – Even things I didn’t need.

5.  Brush my 5 year old’s teeth before school. We had to drive back so I can brush them. I REFUSE to let her go to school with morning breath – That is just nasty!

How about you? Do you have a case of Mommy Brain or Daddy Brain? I would love for you to share your “moments” so I won’t feel alone.

Photocredit: http://www.mommybrainlife.com/

Kodak (who claims, with some clever ads on my sidebar, that we can at least partially knock off our economic worry with a printer) and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post, and they asked me to talk about the top and bottom3 things I think/worry about as a mom. 

 Where do I begin?

 Since I’m a mom of 3 kids (2 girls ages 10 & 4, 1 boy age 13), there are many things that I think about.  I often ask myself, are my children happy? Will they hate me if I punish them?  Am I being the best mother I can be?  Will they go to college and be independent adults?  Are they eating enough veggies and getting their vitamins?  Is that cough bad enough to visit the doctor?  The list can go on and on. 

 Being a mom is hard work and now that I am a mother, I think about the things I put my own mom through and it just makes me want to kiss the ground she walks on.  Honestly, I wasn’t that bad as a child but I could’ve been better.  All the back talk and the slamming of the doors that I did was unnecessary but I guess it’s all part of childhood and the hormones that go along with it.

 So, here are my top 3 things I worry about:

 1.     I have to be honest and say I worry a lot about money.  The economy hasn’t been the greatest in the last year so that is something that is always on my mind.  Nowadays, no one has a stable job.  You can get laid off in a second without notice and that can be quite scary.  We’ve had some financial difficulties in the past but I made sure my kids didn’t know anything about it because I don’t want my kids worrying about “grown-up stuff” or be affected in any other way.

2.     I worry about their education.  Ok, I’ll just be honest and say it – I don’t have a penny saved up for my kid’s college education and I’m scared.  Every year when we get our taxes done, we ask ourselves (my husband and I), what are we going to do when the kids go to college. I honestly don’t have any idea.  Most of the time, I tell him, we’ll get to that when it’s time but I can’t help but feel guilty when I hear other parents having thousands of dollars saved up for their children’s education.

3.     I worry about their future.  Will they be independent and productive adults?  Sometimes my husband tells me that I treat my 13 year old son like a baby. I can’t help it; to me he’s still “my baby”.  I know I have to start treating him like a young adult and I’m trying really hard to do it because in reality, I don’t want him living at home when he’s in his twenties doing nothing and throwing his life away.

Here are my bottom 3 things that I don’t often worry about:

 1.      Are my kids getting enough love?  Of course they are. I love each and every one of my 3 kids and they know it.  It’s funny because they’ll ask me who’s my favorite and I’ll tell them that my son is my favorite 13 year old, my oldest daughter is my favorite 10 year old and my youngest is my favorite 4 year old.  They laugh but it’s true.

2.      Are they happy? I believe they are. If they laugh everyday and we have time to talk daily, then in my heart, I know that they are happy.  I also know when there is something wrong with them with just one look. I am their mother

3.      Will they have a hard time finding true love?  I hope not.  Although my husband and I have our ups and downs, (and who doesn’t!) I believe that if they see us happy, talking with one another, laughing, kissing (yes, we kiss in front of our kids but nothing x-rated, lol) and hugging, they’ll know what a “real” relationship should look like. There shouldn’t be any domestic violence between two people that love each other and I’m happy to know that my kids did not and will not grow up with that kind of environment.

 So, what are your worries as a parent? Care to share? I would love to hear your thoughts

Yup! That’s what my kids think (& say behind their breath) by they way they huff and puff when I tell them to do chores and stuff around the house.

You wanna know what I make them do?

Here’s the list (and it’s not every.single.day!):

• I make them brush their teeth.
• Take showers everyday (if I’m lucky!)
• They MUST clean their own rooms.
• My son (12 yrs.) has trash duty everyday!
• My daughter (10 yrs.) clears the table every nite (if I’m lucky!).
• The older two takes care of the animals. We have one dog and one cat.  They need to make sure the litterbox is clean, their bowls are filled with water and food and pick up the dog’s crap outside. (Yea, it sounds like alot but they wanted the animals.)
• Help with yard work.
• and whatever else comes to my mind when I’m busy doing other things (and no, it’s not blogging, lol).

They’re lucky they didn’t have my mom for a mother becuase she had my sister and I like slaves.  We did everything! Especially if we wanted to go out and play.  From the bathroom, our bedrooms, to the kitchen and floors. After we were done, we were lucky to go outside to play with our friends.

Most of the time, we weren’t even allowed to go anywhere, no matter if we cleaned or not.  She said she was afraid that someone would take us or something bad would happen to us.

If you ask me, my kids got it good! They get to play outside with their friends after they are done with their chores.

So, what do you think? Am I MEAN? Do you have your kids do chores or do you have them spoiled by doing everything for them? This definitely does NOT apply if your children are under 3…..just in case

Yesterday was Mother’s Day so I hope all of my blog mommies had a wonderful day.

Today’s post is about Mom Advice.

When I was a little girl, my mom always taught me to treat people the way you want to be treated and I have to say; that is almost 100% right.  If you treat others with kindness, you’ll almost always get it back.  I say almost always because you don’t always meet the nicest people. They can be bitter for a number of reasons, who knows.  It could stem from their past, what they are going through or just something they are having a hard time coping with.

Another mom advice she taught me is that moms need to make time for themselves.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that it makes you a bad mom wanting alone time, it’s just that it makes you a better mother.  Moms need a time out just like kids do and when we have that time to just relax and unwind, it makes you feel rejuvenated and refreshed.  I agree with that. Ever heard that saying, “When mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy!”.  So, so true..

So, what is some advice your mom taught you? Please, share your stories.

My four year old daughter LOVES to dress herself. She dresses and undresses herself all the time. If I try to help her, she gets upset.  So I leave her alone. She is a very independent girl when it comes to that.

So one day, after running a whole lot of errands, she mentioned to me that she was getting tired and asked if she could put on her pajamas. I was in the middle of cooking dinner so I told her she knew where her pajamas were and that she can go to her room and change.

She comes out of her room and something looks wrong. I looked at her and said: “Vanessa, where did you get those pajamas from”? She looks down at them and says, “I didn’t get them from my hamper Mommy”.

My son and I laughed so hard because we knew exactly what she meant.  I asked her why did she take her pj’s from the hamper.

She looked at me with a surprised face (like I wouldn’t find out) and said “But Mommy, I wanted to wear my favorite pajamas, the ones in my draws are not my favorite”!

Needless to say, she won.

She ended up wearing her “hampered” pj’s to bed.

I’m telling you, there’s never a dull moment at our house!

Note: They weren’t really dirty, she only wore it once after her bath.