Happy “Late” Father’s Day

(This post was scheduled for Monday but for some reason, it was never posted, so here it is…..days later)

This past Sunday was a very special day to all the Dad’s out there that are active in their kid’s life.  I say “active” because there are many father’s out there that don’t even acknowledge that they have kids so the moms have to be both Mom and Dad.

So to those moms, Happy Father’s Day to you too!  I hope it was a good day.

I was one of the lucky ones. My Dad was a wonderful Dad, not only because he was loving, but because he was always there for my sister and I, no matter what.

My parents divorced when I was only 11 years old.

I remember my world ending because I thought I was never going to see my dad again.  I knew it was not true but deep down inside I felt as though it was.  It was a weird feeling, a feeling that I don’t ever want my kids to ever go through.  I became depressed and felt very alone.  In the beginning, I tried to be happy when he wasn’t around but it didn’t work.  Over time, it got easier and easier for us.

I also became very distant from my mother.  Maybe it’s because I thought it was her fault.  I didn’t understand the concept of why parents divorce, I was just a kid.  It took a long time for me to get used to the fact that my dad was no longer going to be home at night when we went to bed or be at home when we woke up.  Of course months later, I realized that it wasn’t just my mother’s fault.

The best thing about the divorce (and yes, there are good things that happen after a divorce) was that once or twice a week, my dad would pick us up to go to either the park, City Island, go out to eat or just to cruise around the area.   We talked, we laughed and after several months, I felt like everything was going back to “normal”.

Years went by and my Dad continued to be the best Dad he knew how to be, which to my sister and I, was the best father ever.  He made sure he created some of the best memories for us too.

Those memories will be forever cherished especially since I lost my Dad when I was only 19 years old.   It was something that caught the whole family by surprise because he wasn’t sick or didn’t have any ailments that we knew about.  He died due to complications with Diabetes.

The weird thing is no one even knew that he had diabetes so this was a total shock to all of us.  Needless to say, my world once again came tumbling down.  But this time, I knew it was never going to be the same ever again.

I had a really hard time facing the fact that my dad was longer in my life.  He was gone.  I was never going to see him again in real life. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

I was going into my third year of college and was supposed to move back into the same dorm room my Dad helped me move out of.   That was something I knew I couldn’t do so I decided to moved back to my mom’s house. I was not ready for that but I knew I had to do it.  I couldn’t be in the same room where my dad and I shared a beautiful father and daughter conversation.  It would’ve been too much for me.

Moving back was very difficult.  Even though my parents divorced years ago, my mom was constantly crying and became very depressed.  I was also falling into a depression. It got so bad that it was affecting my grades as well.  I also didn’t want to continue school but I kept going because that was something my father would’ve wanted me to do. So I finally finished, a few months later than expected but I was really happy that I was done.

Being that my Dad has never met any of my kids and they will never know their grandfather,  I wanted to make sure my husband had a very memorable Father’s Day.  From what he said, he had an awesome day.  I’m glad because he also lost his Dad when he was just a young boy so he knows how hard this day is too.

So please, never take your loved ones for granted because it may be too late when you realize it and then they’re gone.  It’s that fast!


  1. Thanks for sharing, such a strong and powerful message that I can totally relate to. My parents also separated when I was a 11, and my brother and I were often shuttled between Long Island and Brooklyn for visitations. My Dad was a kind, brilliant, educated man who sometimes got caught up in his alcohol induced demons; a decorated yet haunted Vietnam vet who held a nursing degree back when Men weren’t nurses. Dad inspired me, and he was so proud when I was awarded a full scholarship to Nursing School at The College Of New Rochelle (NY). Sadly, he passed away unexpectedly in January of 1994 (coroner confirmed 3 years sobriety),it was my senior year of high school, he was months shy of his 40th birthday.Life was and is still pretty difficult without him. The hardest part is not being able to know his grandchildren. But I agree, and make sure Fathers day are festive and happy, and my DH is womnderful and kind enough to make Mothers day as equally special (his first wife passed on very young and unexpectedly).
    You couldn’t have said it any better in your last line..”So please, never take your loved ones for granted because it may be too late when you realize it and then they’re gone. It’s that fast!” Amen!

    • Awww, you brought tears to my eyes. My Dad passed away in 94′ too and he was just a few weeks away from turning 43. It’s a shame. He also died a week after we came back from Disney World. I forgot to mention that in my post. It’s something I don’t like thinking about.

      They were both so young and I bet full of life but I guess it was their time.

      Thanks for enjoying a very private part of my life 😉

  2. Aw….I just read this, tho’ I’ve been meaning to for days. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry you lost your dad and at such a young age. It’s sad, but comforting that your husband can related completely to your feelings and best of all that he had an awesome day. I hope you know you would’ve made your dad proud. (hugs)

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